21:23 Saturday July 30th 2005
Whiny People in Little Tents of Self-Perpetuating Ignorance

Aye. Tis a cruddy thing, life. Ask anyone who has to work for 8 and a half hours surrounded by people with loud voices and no need to use them, but insist on doing so anyway. I vented some of my frustration by busting out a madd sketch:

I bought the new Gorillaz CD in the hope that they might have chucked the videoclip for Feel Good Inc. on there, which of course they didn't. This peeves me mightily. However, the musak is reasonably cool and the album art is beautiful. In fact, I think it was worth it mainly for the album art. I am troubled about a girl.

21:21 Tuesday July 26th 2005
Beer Beer Beer! Bed Bed Bed!

I had an interesting thought this afternoon as I waited patiently for half an hour in line for a hair-cut. It came to me as I saw some guy walk past eating from a bag of Doritos he held in his left claw. I'm sure there are people all over the world who eat Doritos, not only in public, but also with said claw, but this guy was different; he was wearing a suit and looking most schmick. The thought then comes: this is a guy who gets respect from the people around him, even if it is respect generated entirely by his attire. So if this is true, then perhaps his consumption of Doritos in public could create a desire in the hearts and stomachs of onlookers for that same packet of Doritos, or at the very least, a schmick-looking suit that they could wear in public. I therefore propose that maybe the advertising minions over at the Doritos laboratories could pay guys with schmick suits just to wonder around shopping centres, malls and public venues stuffing their faces with Doritos corn-chips. This will inspire the fad-obsessed generation of today to immediately pledge their income to buying Doritos and schmick suits. Finally when only the cool rich people are walking around shoveling processed orange cardboard into their facial-sphincters, all the weak-willed bottom-feeders will also buy Doritos simply because of peer-pressure.

I tell you I was so bored at the barbershop that I finished Gulo's Tale on my phone from start to finish in under 15 minutes. Here's some fan-art for a project being done by a friend of mine over at the MindChamber forums. I know it looks like her left foot is broken.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go shopping for a schmick suit.

19:40 Sunday July 24th 2005
Bonjour, Y'all!

Well what a crazy week has gone by. Things are getting steadily more stressful and I've lost my hat. This is a very bad thing to happen to anyone really, and is particularly worse for the hat in question. It's slowly occuring to me that I really need to make with a career choice soon. QCS is coming up and I need to sit down and read my QTAC book. (for my foreign friends, the QCS and QTAC acronyms stand for various procedures that judge whether I'm gonna be selling expensive software, insurance, magazines, or my body for the rest of my life.) I went to the Bond Career Expo today, and immediately realised that 'learning about the opportunities open to you' makes the whole process exponentially more exasperating. Maybe I can sell little pictures of Jessica Alba on street corners.

In other non-related news; I've been looking at a lot of web design tutes lately for my ITS course, and as sad as it is to say, I think this site needs a face-lift. Unfortunately, that means new-everything, but I won't have time to really sit down and mess around with designs for a long time yet. For now I really have to concentrate on my studies and not computers or cute girls in the grade below me.

Just to show that I'm not completely out of artistic ideas, I'm gonna take a stab at a web-comic. Here's the first episode, look out for more!

THE WILEY ADVENTURES OF DICK CHADLY!!!!

16:20 Wednesday July 13th 2005
Complex Numbers and Monetary Funding 101

I've decided that an IPod is definately in my future. My no-brand thumbstick MP3 player is crapping out on me as we speak, and after a bit of research on hard disk MP3 players, it would appear that the IPod comes out on top. For those of you that are currently screaming "IPODS SUCK NARD" AND "WHAT ABOUT THE M:ROBE? IT HAS A FRICKIN' CAMERA!" let me say this: In the online stores that I checked out, most M:ROBE buyers regretted their choice of hardware and complained about the unit, whereas the main problems with the IPod appear to be ironed out in the latest version (except the headphones, but as if I care). The downside is of course that the IPods are quite expensive, but fortunately I've just been given some Sunday hours at work, which should give me a fair bit of dosh + TAX RETURN OF ELEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!!

In other news; school has begun and for the first time in ages, I've tried paying serious attention in every class. Not to say that I haven't in the past, but some subjects, such as Religion and Ethics, I barely consider to be subjects at all. Cue little rant about least favourite subject:

Here's the dealio with Religion and Ethics; (or RAE as it is commonly referred to) this subject is essentially devoted to those horrible little morals that seem to be the underlying motives of most Disney films. As much of an ordeal as this present state is, it wasn't always this way. It was worse. If anyone reading this can remember going to Sunday school at age 5 and being fed colouring in books and half-eaten crayons, that was what the old RAE curriculum was like. Envision 5 classes of 25 16-year-old students all colouring in their "assignments". I tell you, there is nothing more degrading than getting a C for an assignment just because you can't keep between those f***ing lines. And thus the basis for my oppinion of why RAE isn't really a subject at all.

Anyway, I suppose I should probably drop you guys a madd sketch, so here's one that should please you.

Oh, and this is another little animated gif that I really wanted as a forum avatar, so I grabbed it and Flasher-ised it.

WOOooOOooOO!!!

09:14 Monday July 11th 2005
It's Been a Long Time....

...but it would appear that the holidays have finally reached absolution. Looking back on the last 3 weeks, I realise I've spent most of it walking, showering, drinking (coke and other associated cola products) and generally being a fat sack of crap. I promised myself I'd buff up and practice my madd-hizzhouse guitar skills every day, but here I am with arms like soggy noodles and fingers with little bruises on the ends.

Fortunately, I have achieved something. The site now has an art page (though horribly inefficient as my nerdlinger friends are sure to tell me) and I've added some new links which you all must check out. Finally, I give you the most amazing thing I've ever created in my entire life:

Wayne's World fans know what I'm talking about.

20:57 Friday July 1st 2005
Full W00ty Mc Floods!!!!

Totally madd flood-age on the coast this past week, in what I've christened to be The Great Wettening of 2005! See photos and other stuff here.
Here's a sketch to save me describing how work is for me at the moment. Lord forbid one more plague-infested peasant asks me how much the towels cost....

20:05 Sunday June 26th 2005
Inspired But My Pen is Empty

Well it's been over a week since the last update, but I'm not going to let this page fall into disuse like my old blog. Essentially I've whiled away the first week of holidays doing mundane silly things and generally turning into a fat sack of crap. I vowed to get into shape before the end, but as I sit eating a meat pie with a packet of Doritos (I use them like little shovels....) I feel that somehow I have fallen by the wayside. I visited my cousin Josh in Briz for a few days, which was most madd. I tell you there is nothing more satisfying than watching a new movie on an IMax screen knowing that you're screwing Birch Carol and Coil by paying $5 for the pleasure from a different cinema. The new Batman is pretty sweet, but I like my caped crusaders dark and precarious, rather than flowery and child-friendly. Mind you, this was deffinately a step up from the epic tragedy of the last Batman flicks, but I still like to imagine the dark night as a guy that swears and spits from time to time.

In other news, I'm going to a madd-hizzhouse Xbox party tomorrow at a good friend's house. This plans to be a grand event, possibly with much cursing and shared hatred, and skinny nerdlingers throwing controllers at each other and screaming prolific phrases like "OMG WTF U HAXOR N00B SHOTGUN WHORE!!!". Roughly translated, this implies that the target is apparently cheating and appears to favour the shotgun weapon. I used to have a serious Counter-Strike addiction, and you would be astonished by the number of pre-pubescent geeky poofburgers that use this terminology. This however, presents the upside in entertainment, as there is simply nothing funnier than listening to two 12 year-olds facing off (with voice communication) screaming at one another actually saying "double-u tee eff" and "oh-em-gee you noob". Sigh, no wonder we haven't cured cancer.

Anywho, I've just started reading The Salmon of Doubt, which is a big compilation of Douglas Adams final speeches and writings until is death in 2001. For the uninitiated of you, Douglas Adams wrote the infamous Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy series as well as the somewhat less known Dirk Gently collection. I get stuck on this guy's every word. I mean he's like some sort of super-nucleo genius. I don't know what super-nucleo means, but he writes like Einstein, Shakespear, and Mick Molloy were in a Ford Fiesta until Sartre and C-3PO collided with them in one of those cars that has the cool extending antennae. As you can imagine, it's a big funny looking intelligent mess that often leaves me re-reading entire pages just so I'm absolutely sure that I'm missing the point and leaves me curled up on the carpet.

09:41 Saturday June 18th 2005
Smoking the Cone of Silence

Tis the first day of the holidays, and I am in a rather reflective mood. This morning when I was reclining in the bathroom, it occured to me that there were people in close vacinity to my position. Perhaps I'm just weird and shy, but I don't like the idea of someone outside the poop-office (the bathroom, I'm going to refer to it as this from now on, even in polite conversation) listening in on what lands in the bowl. I put forward the idea for a cone of silence specifically for the poop-office which can be installed in any home bathroom. (For the uninitiated of you, the cone of silence was a delightful invention of the writers of Get Smart. This consisted mainly of a big plastic bubble that drowned out speech to those outside the bubble. Though this seems practical at first, it soon led to the tired gag of neither character being able to hear each other, leading to bouts of "What?", "WTF?", "What you say?" and "What you say about my mother?". The writers of the show never get enough credit.)

In other news, I'm going to a wedding this afternoon. My cousin who happens to teach at my school is marrying another teacher who works at the same school. The positive of all of this is that now I have two informants on the inside. I'm hoping to get a decent photo of myself taken tonight so I can have a recent one to show people I meet on the street. It's important that people know what I look like.

My character designs for the film are coming along well. I think I've decided on a good format, something a little more traditional than using Flash and a little more technologically advanced than using film. I don't know if this method will work well, but I have about a month to experiment now, so I'm sure it will be spent on making something that probably won't look out of place at a gay mardi gras. Sigh.

Here's a drawing for the sake of drawing.

09:49 Monday June 13 th 2005
The Absence Of Money And Things To Buy With It

Observe thee, my tale of woe; last week I preordered Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for $80 from EB. I picked up the game on Saturday before going to work, my greasy little paws surveying every niche of the instruction manual. After 6 hours of listening to customers bitch about our inadequate pricing system, I finally returned home, retiring to the sitting room to punch up the game for the first time. But alas, it was not meant to be. This next part is for nerds so unless you’re really bored, I suggest skipping to the last paragraph which has the happy ending.

The game, which by all accounts looks beautiful, lies in the rear of a hardcover instruction manual. This manual is approximately 137x190mm in shape and about a centimeter thick. Contained in said manual is a large poster that sports a map of San Andreas on the front, and a nifty picture of Samuel L. Jackson’s character looking w00ty on the back. The DVD, which features the same picture of Jackson still looking most w00ty sits in my top DVD drive and spins at what LG reliably informs me, is 16x speed. As I observed all these magically useless facts installing the game, I felt happy to be alive. Hell, I’d say that I even felt invigorated and wanted to do that little dance that monkeys do.

So here come my first moments of actual gameplay. The starting movie sequence is rather neat. Characters are introduced and for some reason the guns they’re holding are in fact not being held at all, but rather hovering 4 feet above ground. To coincide with this divine miracle, none of the characters appear to have arms and sometimes faces. But that’s okay, I’m sure it will be explained later. It’s time to actually do some driving. I use my madd nerdlinger game-playing skillz to jack a car which I deftly use to ram other cars off the road. It is by now that I notice something odd, something insidious. It’s not the way that my windshield has shattered, (which by the way looks really neat!) or the way my fender is wobbling as it tries feebly to hang on for the ride (also neat!). I notice that the cars which I am currently colliding with appear to have drivers composed of little triangles that change colour as rapidly as an epileptic trying to play Halo 1.

After countless minutes searching for fixes, patches and updates for a game that was released less than a week ago, I came to the conclusion that the only possible and sensible solution would be to throw away my video card and buy a new one. Unfortunately, I don't have the cash for it right now.

Long story short, I fixed the problem by playing with many technical things and generally wasting hours of my life which could have been spent sleeping or doing my English assignment. Today is a beautiful day.