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18:52 Tuesday November 1st 2005 Bonjour y'all. I count only 7 more days of senior secondary education before we are all unleashed on the world as an angry generation who knows where the guns are kept. Surely there are fun times ahead. The last week has been an avalanch of self-doubt and unassurance. My sleep pattern is falling out of whack; some weird kind of insomnia has made the act of falling asleep turn into a 4 hour ordeal of staring at the ceiling and concentrating on single words until the mind has contemplated every possible connotation of the word and shuts down from the lack of mental activity. The words that I've concentrated on lately:
I fear that there is something quite eerie brewing in my head, considering the above. Also none of them put me to sleep, but rather sprouted new facets of self-doubt that would prolong sleep for another hour. Lately I've been feeling like I'm being left behind by everyone around me. Slowly my gifts, abilities and talents are being exceeded by just about everyone and I'm feeling very uniform rather than unique. I'd be fine with this kind of thing normally, but now it seems to be encroaching noticeably on my health. The effects on my sleep aside, my eyes have been turning blood-shot for days at a time, my appetite has more or less left me completely, and I'm starting to lose weight. I think this has worried my parents too, since these are all drug-related symptoms. Even my boss seems a little worried about it too. Speaking of my dear parents, they sprung me with a graduation gift early. I was completely astounded when they presented me with a top notch Seiko watch that by my rough estimates must have cost them around $400. I'm too scared to wear it out anywhere because...well it's just too damn nice. Got a suggestion for a neat word I can add to my sleepless repertoire? E-mail it to me at king_deej@hotmail.com, and a 600ml Pepsi shall be ye reward should your suggestion prove amiable. Cheers. |
17:39 Sunday October 23rd 2005 I've finished my RAE assignment! I'm still kind of dissapointed as it seems that the audio pops in and out on slower machines, but wise people can turn down the video quality to remedy that. View crap here. It's a good feeling knowing that I've completed another short film. I'm starting to get nostalgia from my first experiences with Flash 4 back in 2000. Gee that was a fun time, back when the net was full of creative artists like Joe Cartoon and StickDeath.com got updated more often than once every two years. Truly it was the golden age for aspiring young digital artists camped in front of glowing screens, tightly locked away in their bedroom or bunkered securely in their parents' basement. I have about 2 or 3 old backup CDs from the Y2K period, each one filled with half-completed flash projects that would consume my imagination for a week before I realised how painfully difficult animation can be at times. Anyway, Thus ends today's post, but before I depart, let me say a quick "Hiya!" to Tyde for hosting a killer party last night. Happy Birthday, T-dizzle. |
19:38 Thursday October 20th 2005 Well, I suppose after spending a few weeks away from this crap-shack of a website, you would expect me to have lots of great stuff like new art, some cool stories and some fascinating insights. Oh snap. Although, I can promise y'all that I am working on another animated short soon to be released that should feature my virtuoso skill with my tablet and some pretty neat elevator musak. That said, I've designed this short specifically to bore the hell out of anyone who watches it. I'm trying to punish my RAE teacher for making me take this stupid class. Even still, I like the way this is shaping up, and it may be borderline interesting enough for some of you to actually sit through the whole painful 3 minute duration. Those who have bothered me, tortured me, and otherwise tweaked my nipples regarding the lack of updates on this site have expressed themselves referring to my zany remarks and critical analysis of popular culture as the "scoop on teenage-hood". I can see how someone could come to that conclusion, as I fulfill both the pre-requisites of being a "teenager" and that I also scoop frequently (as frequently as I'm able to, in fact). At the start of this paragraph, I was going to go into great depth of how I try to embody more than just one pathetic teen's critical angst against society and combating chang with the intention of starting a warm-blooded debate, but after re-reading those first few lines, I think I've drained my own will to argue. I concead to my own remarkable writing technique. The truth is that I suppose I do use this site (that gathers between 5-30 hits per day) to vent my various thoughts, gasses and scribbles. I'd like to allude to some taco grande scheme for global empowerment and awareness and enlightenment and all that business, but the truth is that if I made an enemy and felt like ranting about how much they suck, this would probably be the place where I would post malicious sweaty cyber-words providing I thought that the enemy in question was too stupid to understand the phrase "Defamation lawsuit". Now just a little bit of general news: The old TydeNet site has fallen into disuse, and is now hosted at http://tydenet.broadbent.net.au/news.php. Also Josh's site Deceitful Monkey has surcumbed to misuse, as Josh has decided to revive his BlogSpot account at http://monkey-mystique.blogspot.com/. Finally, I've found a web-comic that I'm really into called Questionable Content. The characters in this strip are neat, not to mention very open about all bodily functions. I wonder if university life will be like this... |
19:37 Friday September 30th 2005 Today is the final day for punctual QTAC entries. Good thing I put mine in a few nights ago. It went something like this: I have no idea what that last preference is doing. I suppose should all else fail, I could start a newsletter for mocking all the clueless peons in my life. Someone told me that they enjoyed reading this pitiful excuse for a journal/blog/excuse-to-whinge today. That was an interesting moment for me, as I suddenly realised the full weight of posting crud that anyone can read, and at the same time realised that the previous realisation was made while I was dancing the cha-cha and failing at doing so. I wish I was lying about this entire paragraph. Our grade has been rocked this week by a series of photos released to the powers-that-be detailing certain events involving a rather large number of my contemporaries. I know a lot of people are tossing the blame for the whole sordid affair at a particular 'antagonist'. And yes, a lot of nasty names and even nastier proposed physical solutions are being negotiated, so please allow me to sum up the whole situation with a sub-par witty remark and a poorly articulated metaphore. Those unimpressed with stints of half-understood and poorly conceived psycho-babble, feel free to skip straight to the metaphore as it may make you laugh, or at least brighten your day by curing whatever ails ya'. There comes a time of personal decision for each person when one must make a definite choice from a number of options. It is up to one's own personal experience and moral stature to discern the moral objectification of each option available and make the optimum choice accordingly. I know a lot of people are assuming that the past weeks events were inspired by personal greed and a lustful stab at success, and sure that seems to be a tangible assessment. But regardless of motivation, I think we all must consider that all choices still spring from the fore-mentioned primal definitions of right and wrong. Correctness is a big lime green couch, in the sense that neither offer any immediate aesthetic benefits, but both suddenly become quite important when it's a cozy Saturday night and a member of the opposite sex is inolved. Except for the couch, which you can also use for sitting. On that note, I'd like anyone reading this to take a break on the persecution, plotting, scheming and abusive banner-making regarding this whole squalid matter. Find it in your heart to accept the actions of others as choices made in good intentions, even if misguided or slightly skewed or whatever else bothers you. If all else fails, remember we're all out of here in a few weeks and we'll never have to see one another again. Here's a sketch just for poops and giggles.
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12:10 Friday September 23rd 2005 Wow, I haven't updated this old hog in forever! A few people have been bugging me about it, so rather than try to explain everything that's gone on lately, I present to you HOLIDAYPALOOZA! Just a warning for you unfortunate 56Kers out there, there are a few photos, so beware. I've had a number of realisations over the past week or two. One in particular struck me as I sort after some sugar to put in my tea. (I do this with the purpose of getting fat and dying in mind.) I caught sight of my own reflection in a metal teapot, and it struck me that when my hair is reflected alone, it looks remarkably like a small island on the horizon. Simply fascinating. |
20:02 Thursday September 8th 2005 The holidays have begun! Had a pretty good day today; woke up at 6 like usual but stayed in bed anyway when I realised school was finished for me. I spent the next few hours playing San Andreas until my lovely lady friend came on MSN. Had a very fun conversation until about 3:30 when she had to leave for work. I started playing San Andreas again until I realised that I was still wearing slippers, I hadn't opened my window blinds all day, and the stench of my decaying room contained enough chemicals to pose a serious hazard to the unwary traveller. So I opened my window. Just a quick update on site content; tall friend and resident computer guru Christopher has launched his own website! Check out PlacidBlog! Also I've finally made an About page featuring what I think is the best photo of me to date. The last week has been an incredible series of disconnected thoughts and stupid things that seem dream-like to me despite my entirely lucid state at the times in question. I only had 6 exams this semester. I'd always thought that having all my exams packed into the minimum number of days would be beneficial because it would allow me extra study-time and the possibility of early holidays. However, I really was quite surprised to find the whole exam process more draining with this arrangement. Next term I'd like to have my exams spaced out over a number of days so I can do two or three and count on having the day off afterwards. Tomorrow is the big day for my dear girlfriend! I know she's been looking forward to her birthday since April, so we're all going up to Brisbane to celebrate by wandering around and poking hobos with sticks. I'll wear my poking hat and gloves. I'm actually really psyched for her as well, I've been looking forward to getting out of the house for reasons other than school and work. Getting to go to Brisbane again (with my girl!!!!) sweetens the deal. I feel cheap and horrible because I haven't got her a gift, but she seems resilient to give me any hints as to what she may desire. I managed to get a bit of art going before. I felt like drawing something mechanical, so I belted out a sketch of some mech thing. I don't know why he's stalking me or why it's orange. That's a chain-gun in case you can't tell.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAM! THIS ONE'S DEDICATED TO YOU, DARLIN'! |
19:41 Thursday September 1st 2005 I am fully sick. I am a man. I am awesome. I have a girlfriend. We saw the new Willy Wonka flick this afternoon, much to the discomfort of accompanying friends. Pretty alright movie, but not nearly as good as the company. It was an interesting alteration (in the movie, that is) how they incorporated Wonka's daddy issues into the storyline. I was a really big Roald Dahl fan in my early years (and still am to this day, such a talented childrens writer; I've never seen anyone with such a fantastically gratuitous use of the word 'perculiar') but I think Dahl would've appreciated the film as a growth from his original piece. This cryptic storyline combined with Tim Burton's undeniably unique style of cinematography and design made for a film that at times made me doubt whether or not it was intended for children. I think the only vice was the new Oompa Loompa concept, which although being kind of cool sort of detracts from the original experience. I miss the old tunes and rhymes. Exams on Monday through Wednesday next week. I'm not really prepped for any of them beyond what we've done in class, but at least there are only six. An unfortunate friend of mine has about ten. It'll be so nice to finally get out of the school routine for a week or two (especially now that I have someone to share it with). I've lately had a big urge to get back into my various creative outputs, specifically mapping for Half-Life 2 which is unfortunately less creative and more a nerdlinger thing. My artistic talents have not yet returned. My latest attempts have yielded nothing more than a series of disconnected lines that in no way depicted anything I had in my head. At first I suspected this may have just been because I was using my Wacom tablet instead of putting good ol' fashioned pen to paper, but the results were even more dismaying. I need a week just to get outside and breathe. My mum reminded me before that tomorrow is Friday and that we are tripping to Brisbane to check out this hostel. I'd completely forgotten about it, (contradicting my previous post) but I suppose a lot's been going on lately. To be honest, I can't wait until it's all finally over. Just to be somewhere different without anything overhead at least until I start uni. I think the only thing I'll really miss is interacting with all my teachers. I really admire some of them, though I'd never bring it up, but to get into a profession like teaching knowing that there's nothing ahead except several decades of bratty kids with bad hygene shows the strength of one's character and tolerance. A little yell out to Fathers everywhere; enjoy your special day on Sunday remembering full well that it's your cars that we learn to drive in! |
19:56 Saturday August 27th 2005 What a day. I've spent hours working on my two major assignments, both due on Monday. I still have a lot of work to do, especially considering I also have a physics exam to study for. A state of melancholy has gripped me lately. I've been thinking a lot about next year and what I'm going to do. Not just in terms of courses at university, I think I've got that one figured out anyway, but just living outside of home. I've been looking forward to it for so long now, and it's slowly dawning on me that it's coming sooner than I thought. This realisation came when my Dad told me that the hostel we're considering for accomodation is available for inspection next Friday and he wants to drive up there to check it out. It's certain to be an interesting experience. Gym was pretty cool yesterday. I've messed up my legs pretty bad, especially my calf muscles. It's for a good purpose though, when I stand on my toes they become solid bricks of awesomeness. Now I just need to do the same thing with my stomach and upper body. The highlight however, was watching the girl play sport nearby. I know it's kind of wrong, but I maintain that my intentions are innocent. I'm not going to try anything anyway for fear of retribution. I tried to bust out some art again with similar results. It's like exam and assignment stresses have sucked out all my talent and creative drive. Even my writing is becoming crummy and half-thought. I really need to get out of this house and out in places, even if it's for something as banal as work. I need stuff to happen to me. Good funny stuff that presently seems frighteningly real but will later make for a great story to tell people so they think that I am a man of the world. I wonder what it would be like just to go up to someone on the street and punch them. That would probably give me a good story. Just a little side note, my web-traffic is slowly rising! This is good, especially considering a lot of the hits are coming from unique IPs and most of my friends are on DSL or service providers with static IPs. Now I just need to make sure they keep coming back. |
16:00 Thursday August 25th 2005 QCS is over! My future is set and the world shall continue spinning on its axis. My congratulations go out to all my contemporaries, we did it guys! I am maggotted. I smashed my legs yesterday in Gym, (for those who don't know, I take gym as a compulsory sport offered by the school instead of spending my afternoons chasing a stupid ball) and to make it worse, I decided to go for a jog this afternoon. I think it really hit home how weak and unfit I am yesterday. A small friend of mine whom I tutored for mathematics proved he was stronger than me, which is rather disheartening considering I'm 4 years his senior. Also the lady Gym trainer pushed me within the bounds of bringing up my lunch. We had our first dancing session today in prep for the formal in October. I really am quite clumsy and uncoordinated, but I didn't seem to be the only one. It's interesting how the sight of someone failing at something can reassure you that they are worse than you. A feeling of acceptance arises, and a form of contentment can be realised with our own failures; the phrase "I'm glad I don't look that ridiculous," doubtlessly sprouting in our minds. I'm still a bit unsure about the 'waltz' stance, since it involves the placing of the right hand on the partners side. Maybe it's just immature heeby-jeebies, but that seems to be a bit too close for comfort for me. Especially if I do it wrong, which I'm sure I must have this afternoon. I apologise to all my partners from today, some of us just aren't meant to waltz. My latest pet peeve is to do with my school's computer system, where each terminal is set to reinstate the customised configuration input by the IT technicians when the terminal restarted. This would be fine and dandy if the IT technicians had set them up properly. This is of course in relevance to my IT assignment, presently due on Monday. Unfortunately, these computers are specifically designed to make networking difficult, ultimately resulting in half an hour of necessary preperation before I can even start working on my assignment. GAY GAY GAY GAY. This is one of those cases where I make exaggerated expressions about beating the crapola out of the people responsible before remembering that I am in fact as weak as a kitten and the people responsible are tall enough to distribute some mean wedgies. I've started dreaming about the holidays and all the neat things I wanna do when school ends. As far as the coming holidays are concerned, I wanna get a bit of sun and maybe get down to the beach for the first time in about six months. Appealing to my inner-nerd, I also want to finally clean up my computer. This heap of crap has been acting rather eratically as of late and I do believe a clean format is in its future. I think after I'm done with that, I'll play through every game in the Grand Theft Auto 3 series. Those who take enough interest in video games to read the occasional magazine article may know that GTA: San Andreas is now banned in Australia because of some deleted adult-oriented portions of the game that can be unlocked with a patch available from some techie on the web. This is great because it makes owning one of the few remaining PC copies of the game so much cooler (in a very dorky way). I'm glad I didn't wait for the price to drop any lower, this game is pure gold. Anyway, I really should get back to this beast of an assignment. I've completed a fair amount of the documentation, but unfortunately most of it should have been completed two weeks ago. I hope we get graded mostly on this rather than our actual project content. Especially since I blame them for not being able to complete it. A special mention for Kylie who was quite badly injured yesterday during sport. Hope you get well soon! |
22:05 Saturday August 20th 2005 I finally got around to installing a little web counter visible at the base of this page. The results are dismal. I might start paying people to come here. QCS this Tuesday and Wednesday. I felt game enough to sit down and try out some sample writing tasks I borrowed off a very generous teacher, but I got as far as brainstorming a few ideas before I completely ran out of steam. I think I'm in trouble, and as per usual, I'm gonna send the blame down the line to the education department. I don't know about other schools, but the last time I had to do this sort of thing was in year 6. If it was this important, why didn't they give us more practice instead of trying to cram Christianity down our throats? I'm not discounting the Christian education system at my school, but ask any student and they'll tell you that literally everything is based around being spiritually correct. This would be okay if they didn't insist on going to absurd lengths, such as keeping philosophical books written only by Christian authors in the library or dedicating pages of newsletters to boycotting the latest Harry Potter book or whatever. Moving on to other things worth talking about, I went to an 18th last night. First time I'd ever really been to a party where alcahol was around. Without mentioning names, I think it's safe to say that some people have learnt from the experience and will probably think twice before drinking again. As for me, I stayed dry the entire night. Oh yeah, I have a suit. A black one. Has buttons. And pockets to keep stuff in. |
21:31 Wednesday August 17th 2005 QCS next week, and my confidence is elsewhere. I tried on a suit this afternoon. For a brief moment, I felt expensive. Then they showed me the cost of hire, leading to a completely reveresed sensation. I tried to crank out a sketch, but I've become completely inept with my tablet through either ignorance, lack of inspiration, or both. My hearing keeps coming and going in random intervals and a good deal of my brain space is now occupied with snot and other nasty things I can blow out my nose. Speaking of which, how cool is the word snot. It sounds so vulgar, but so delightfully childish. Time for a bit of a rant, methinks. Unfortunately I haven't really got much to rant about other than how illogical women can be, but I did that last time. Ironically, most girls agreed with my analysis, which was pleasing both in terms of accuracy and my own personal safety. Crazy ladies. Today, a few people asked me about my driving experiences. I'm not really a big driver person, I only got my L's last month partly because my parents wanted me to, partly because it's another form of ID, and mostly peer pressure. After completing this utterly inconvenient exercise, I was hoping the taunting would stop, but apparently it's also necessary to drive a car to stop the flourish of insults and stupid observations made by the laymen around me. The conversation turned to my fear of driving, which aside from obvious reasons, spurs from the fact that I hate the whole atmosphere of learning to drive to start with. I wish it was some kind of skill you could practice in your room, like learning an instrument or something to that effect. Most of all I hate the dumbass comments I get at school when I don't agree or even have an opinion about the latest road change or newest road regulation. During a conversation about schoolies (perhaps the topic of my next rant) with a friend of mine, the topic of transportation arose. I'm a bit of a prude in this regard, as I firmly refuse to get in a car with anyone my age behind the wheel. Similarly I wouldn't take passengers if I was driving purely because I wouldn't trust myself with their well-being. That said, I don't think any sensible person would ride in a car with some of these people. Without mentioning names, I heard one of my contemporaries actually took her hands off the steering wheel to adjust her hair in her mirror whilst on a highway. I wouldn't be surprised if this kind of stupidity ultimately results in my own demise one day. The world better explode soon, I'm getting sick of being stuck with morons. |
20:35 Saturday August 13th 2005 Well its been a rivetting three days since my last post. I have too many assignments and more than too many people trying to piss me off. I wish I had an air-rifle just to make sure people didn't cross me twice. I had a QCS training sesh last night, and it really hit home (not for the first time however) how much I suck at academic writing. I knew my reading skill was poor, but wowee, I really do smell when it comes to thinking out and writing even basic pieces. This, coupled with my complete ignorance of everything related to the stimulus "Earth, Sea, Sky" resulted in about 15-20 minutes of sitting at a blank piece of paper trying to brainstorm ideas. I finally chose to write about some dumb character whom God decided to take the proverbial piss out of at every opportunity, and in the end resolved to not even bother trying to bring that back to any of that earth sea sky drivel. In other news, I am unwell. My voice has left me, and for no reason my ears have started fading in and out, so that I spent half of my day facing to the left of the person talking to me just so I could hear them with my good ear. I have two really big assignments left to go, Graphics and ITS. I need to get my Maths C over with tomorrow, mostly because it's due on Monday. Metallica is the fire that ignites my loins. |
18:56 Wednesday August 10th 2005 An update for the sake of updating. Had a pretty neat day so far. I spent most of my hours last night trying to iron out the bumps in my english oral assignment, and delivered it this morning to great success. You see, success for me comes from delivering the speech so that the whole torrid affair is behind me, whereas this morning I not only delivered the speech well and on time, but I only had to deliver it to 7 people (+ 1 camera) and I did so famously. Only one or two instances of "bleh blah bluhth" where I just lost my place and wanted to curl up and cry. I'm severely behind in some of my assignments, particularly my Graphics casting project and my IT web dev doohickey. I did manage to get stuck into a bit of IT today, however, with an interview with my prospective client. At this point, it looks like I'm going to need some help with this, I fear I've trodden too deep. Better get a shovel. Something funny has been happening to me as of the past few days, something that does not occur to me on a regular basis. I've been getting an urge to write. I'm not sure, but this newfound desire may have sprung from the book I'm currently reading; The Bedford Guide for College Writers. It's quite uncharacteristic of me to be reading any kind of resource book, but I was desperate the other night and had to read something, and I've actually started picking up some of the things contained within it's musty dustjacket that reeks unnervingly of glue and wet hay. I've been spending way too much time on TydeNet lately, my post-count is now somewhere in the 300s. I'd be on there now, but if there are more than three people logged onto the forums at once, they spontaneously combust in the face of anyone else who tries to join the fun. Instead, I've decided to sit back and get a little creative, maybe bust out a madd hizz-house sketch or two, play a little guitar, and listen to Queen. I've got a big weekend ahead, with a QCS training course occupying my Friday night and Sunday, and work consuming my Saturday afternoon like some gigantic gelatinous consumer-driven thinger-jiggy. My dearest folks have offered to let me have Friday off so I can get a little more productive rather than simply sitting in front of a whiteboard and listening to whiny people. I don't know if I should accept their generous offer, but I could probably get a good deal of my IT or Graphics assignments. I also have a stupid Maths C thingy due on Monday. For the last week, I've found myself thinking "I need a cigarette," and I don't even smoke. |
22:09 Friday August 5th 2005 I was trying to crank out some funky art just before, and I'm afraid that my brain is dry of talent. I literally can't get the pen to make the picture in my head, which is most frustrating. So instead, I have resorted to listening to Metallica, typing this much-sort-after update, and talking to friends on MSN. It has been a long week. On Monday I promised myself that I would study by buns off when I got home each day, but there's always been something else to do, like watch Twenty-Four or do some post-whoring on TydeNet. And here we are on Friday night; I'm wearing a grey shirt and pajama pants with teddy-bears on them, and I have 3 assignments due next week, and a whole lot of physics work to do on Monday morning because I forgot to bring my books home. Life sucks nard. Unfortunately, I'm tied up for most of the weekend as well. I'm working tomorrow (Saturday) from 12 to 6 and I'm going to Brisbane on Sunday for the University of Queensland open day. The QUT open day last weekend was most informative, and has lead me to change my career options once again, from electrical/mechanical engineering to information tech and creative industries. I know, I know, IT is a dead industry and I'll never find a job, but for reasons which I have neither the skill nor the finesse to explain, you are wrong and by association I hate everyone you know. In a totally random subject change, I'm going to discuss in the next few lines the issue that plagues every male for most of life's duration; the complete irrationality and instability of the female mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sexist (although I hate feminists, just like most women I know) but I've noticed that girls whom I've known for several years now have become significantly more fragile and brittle in an emotional sense. For example, a year ago I could have told any of my female friends that they were fat and expected the response of a deft slap in the face or perhaps and elbow in the gut. Nowdays, if I were to say something like that to anyone I know, I wouldn't know whether to expect an uppercut, a lawsuit, or a hug for delivering divine enlightenment regarding their eating habits. I don't think this can be attributed to girly problems or things of the biological nature, but I hypothesize that the answer may actually lie in the social configuration of the female mind. You see, guys don't care what other guys say about them, unless it questions their emotional strength or their sexuality. On the other hand, I've noticed that 17-year-old girls can bite through concrete with the slightest provacation or reference to their social status. I miss the good old days when girls were just as predictable as guys. These days, it's like walking through a mine field on stilts. I'm going to be single for a long time. |
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All images and text unless otherwise indicated property of Daniel Creamer 2005. |
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